Planting Roots

When I think about classmates and family. I look at where they chose to live there life. Did they stay near home, did they make a home near where they went to college. Are they still going through the same old same old, still trying to find themselves. I am only 39, so there are many options. Well i think about my life also. I didn't grow up near cousins or family. I was a military kid. I spent most of my life in South Carolina. I always feel like i missed out on something. Like i didn't get the whole cousin life. I didn't get to see grandma like most people. But when i was younger i did get summers. I hold summers very near and dear to my heart. I love everything about my summers. I think about how i was able to really get to know my family when i was there during those summers. I also feel kind of bad for my cousins. There are living where everything they do is the family topic. If they fail at something, everyone knows, everyone sees it. And family secret is not really a secret because everyone knows. They have to answer for every mistake being told to grandma or auntie or uncle. On one hand you can stay and grow up near all your family, and have the closeness of being near people who love you no matter what, on the other hand when you are trying to find yourself you struggle in front of everyone. Most of my mistakes if i haven't told my parents. none of my family now ( nor do they need to know). But when you struggle in front of the same people whom you always want to look right in there sight, its got to be hard. If you hang out all night long and just party like its 1999, it has to hurt to know everyone in the family knows. When you get to see family, in there eyes you are still as sweet as you were during those summers, and that's just the way i would like to leave it.

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